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Jim's PERSPECTIVEJanuary 20, 2014 To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. I have always struggled with ego issues related to music, most especially Christian/ worship music. Danny Taylor, who was one of the first of the so-called “Contemporary Christian Musicians” back in the seventies, told me years ago that people who have a bent toward performance, or are “stand-out” musicians are criticized by some as being “show-offs” or “flashy.” But he pointed out that the desire to perform is a valid aspect of the nature of a musician. I know that many players have backed away from the appearance or accusation of “showing off,” whether by simply not playing or by not being true to themselves when they do play. I have acted out both scenarios, but particularly the latter. Rather than be criticized, mainly by fellow Christians, but not exclusively Christians, for being a show-off I often played less than to the best of my ability. Early in my Christian life—and I’m talking about decades ago—I came to believe that in the minds of many Christians, being a Christian meant to be free of any ostentation, ornamentation, flamboyance or anything else that would cause one to appear as “outstanding.” Thus I eliminated certain complex chord progressions or embellishments (“licks”) that I was hearing naturally or in the context of the music because of the concern that it might draw an unfavorable response from a “Christian” audience. But in my own defense, I will say that I did have the presence of mind to realize that drawing attention to the player is counter-productive to what one is trying to do in ministry. If the message is eclipsed by the performance (or by the performer), then the whole purpose for playing in ministry is diminished, if not rendered ineffective. And there are some sincere, well-intentioned Christian players who are right to ask the question, “What are you trying to accomplish, and who are you trying to bless and to please—yourself, the people, or God?” I think that this kind of internal struggle is one of the primary reasons, if not the principle reason, that many musicians who are Christians create works that to many seem trite and contrived. Some of the songs that I do now—but had stopped doing for many years—were conceived over thirty years ago. But at that time I was not able to sit down and work out the complicated details (rhythmical, harmonic, structural, lyrical, even theological) of the song that truly began as an inspiration. I believe that was partly because of my fear that it would not be accepted by some on the basis that it was too “flashy” or too “worldly.” The end result of my own creation was that I had settled for something less than honest. I simply was not being true to myself or even to the actual song. I am certain that one other important concern was that no matter how simply presented, the music itself, particularly more modern or so-called “popular,” or “pop” music of almost any kind, would be regarded by many listeners as irreverent, unspiritual and ungodly and therefore inauthentic. It was more than a “concern.” It actually happened—and still happens—in many churches, and not only in churches. I know of a successful car dealer (I won't say where) who revoked his advertising relationship with a Christian radio station when they began airing Christian rock, which the dealer described as “of the devil.” And I myself was called down more than once for the style of music I played. One of those times a minister actually used the word "flashy" in a criticism of a song I played in his church. I must say that I too thought it possible that the intrinsic complication of the song—while I would not describe it as “flashy”—could distract from the point and message of the song, and that in fact became a genuine motivation for me to make my own songs simpler. Whether I was right or wrong to do so back then, I don’t know for sure. But I think now that the depth and energy of the music actually should contribute to, if not match the depth and energy of, the message (one of the reasons I like black music so much). I now am also less concerned about the response of the people, meaning that, as time goes on, I believe that in order to please God, I am going to have to be true to myself no matter what the people’s responses or reactions are, particularly if they are negative. It helps that the culture has changed somewhat and that many styles of music, if not embraced, are at least tolerated. However, I still find myself at odds with some in the contemporary church who contend that in order to make music that genuinely exalts God and ministers to his people, one should keep the music as simple as possible (I have heard some actually say, “Don’t use more than three or four chords). Thank God that a whole pantheon of composers and writers did not share that sentiment. My awareness of my own ego or sinfulness or selfishness is also one of the reasons that I did not trust my own thought processes when writing songs about the kingdom, or life in the kingdom. I had a similar mistrust about my motives when I stood in the pulpit to preach: “Who do you think you are, trying to speak for God?” But, ironically, while that misgiving never stopped me from going ahead with the preaching ministry, it did impede me musically. I have always thought that one had to be “pure” in spirit in order to do anything anointed, whether preaching or writing anointed songs. I believed that to be especially true about writing songs and playing music probably since that was nearest to my heart’s desire. However, I was not so naive as to think that those who write songs regarded as “anointed,” as well as those “anointed” preachers, did not have the same brokenness in them that I have in myself. I always knew that, in the end, we all, as Henri Nouwen said, are just “wounded healers.” And yet even understanding deep-down that Jesus does use those with intrinsic brokenness, I thought that he would only use me to minister in music (or, “play in the Spirit,” as some used to say a long time ago) if I were a more “worthy” person, or less selfish and egotistical. However, I have come to see and know more and more—and scripture bears this out over and over again—that the only people he uses, or even can use, are broken people. In fact, those are all he has to work with. That makes me a candidate. Furthermore, if I or anyone else called to do whatever waits until he or she is more “worthy,” we will be waiting until glory. It will not happen.
- Jim Radford |
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©2013 Jim Radford. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.
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